Wedding Reflections

Indian weddings are elaborate affairs; they can last up to a week and involve many ceremonies, traditions, and rituals. Thousands of people don their finest silk saris and their most dazzling pieces of gold jewelry to celebrate the joining of two families.

I’ve attended Indian weddings in the US, but those weddings were abridged, spark-notes versions, with only the essential ceremonies, like exchanging garlands, taking seven steps, walking around a fire, and the toe-ring ceremony. This wedding had poojas and rituals I’d never heard of: looking at constellations, playing board games, and getting fanned and fed chocolates. But it was interesting to learn about the nuances of a Hindu wedding and to learn about the symbolism behind seemingly random traditions.

But more than learning about my culture and heritage, I appreciated the opportunity to meet so many people. There is never a dull moment when there are thousands of people to talk to, and I have really enjoyed getting to know so many members of my extended family.

Today, the groom’s side of the family had the chance to show their party-throwing skills. And they definitely put on a good show. In the morning, we had to go to his house for a pooja (and I saw a peacock in the field on the way there!) but once we returned to the hall, they arranged for a singer to keep us entertained. So while Preethi Akka and her husband were off doing something or the other, the rest of us watched a little girl give a singing concert. The time passed quickly, and soon it was time for the family to give gifts and act as witnesses to the marriage, one of the last major parts in the wedding ceremony.

After the fires were out and the blessings were given, it was time to eat. And since the groom’s side was in charge, I was able to sit down and really enjoy the food. So my mother and I sat hunched over our banana leaves as men ran up and down, plopping food in front of us. There were dozens of vegetables, plenty of rice, and an unbelievable array of sweets. Forty five minutes later, after licking the last bits of the rice with rasam and sambhar and melara, the final pieces of pulauv and vegetables and happlas and vadas and snacks, the last hints of mango rasaya and jalebi and holige, I was finally finished.

As the sun beat down, we got up and made our way to the trenches to wash our hands and then sit down somewhere. I was tired; I was unbelievably full.

And I was unbelievably happy.

Between staying up late and getting up early the next day so as not to miss the auspicious time for a ceremony, I haven’t had much sleep for the past few days. But I have had an absolute blast. Watching my cousin get married, I’ve learned so much about my heritage. I’ve dressed up in beautiful silks and ornate gold, I’ve feasted on dozens of courses of mouthwatering food, I’ve practiced my Kannada and caught up with cousins and aunts and uncles that I haven’t seen for years.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the later portions of this wedding – I do have to get back to Bangalore and my work – but I am really glad I had the chance to be a part of even a piece of the festivities.

-June 20th